- Laughs

Bernanke Comedy - It's Tradition

nospam@example.com (Harvest Dream) — Wed, 13 Jul 2011 23:54:58 -0600

I haven't laughed so hard in a while, what a hoot!

There's Gold In That There Mud

nospam@example.com (Harvest Dream) — Mon, 20 Jun 2011 10:25:56 -0600

Mayor Wants To Broadcast Bird Songs - Make People Happy

nospam@example.com (Harvest Dream) — Fri, 28 Jan 2011 08:43:47 -0700

Nothing like a little pseudo-nature to raise the spirits!

Source: CBS Los Angeles - January 26, 2011

It may sound like a bird-brained idea, but the mayor of Lancaster wants to brighten up the Mojave Desert city by broadcasting recorded bird songs.

R. Rex Parris proposed the idea during his State of the City talk on Monday.

The Antelope Valley Press says Parris wants to play the bird chatter from loudspeakers on Lancaster Boulevard. The mayor says there’s science to show that listening to birdsong makes people happier.

The American Dream Compilation

nospam@example.com (Harvest Dream) — Sun, 09 Jan 2011 11:14:57 -0700

You Should Buy A Home Now

nospam@example.com (Harvest Dream) — Wed, 22 Dec 2010 18:50:12 -0700

PVC Fun

nospam@example.com (Harvest Dream) — Sun, 05 Dec 2010 00:00:22 -0700

Conspiracy Theorists

nospam@example.com (Harvest Dream) — Thu, 16 Sep 2010 12:58:45 -0600

A Little Monkey Business

nospam@example.com (Harvest Dream) — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 21:05:06 -0600

Sea 'Castles' for the Super Rich

nospam@example.com (Harvest Dream) — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 22:28:23 -0600

In the decades to come, as the centralization of key agricultural and energy assets has reached its apex, those who have failed to extricate themselves from the systems enticements, will find that they are indeed very unhappy, and not in a kind way towards their economic masters. The need for militarized enclaves, underground escape routes, and isolated island retreats, will be of paramount concern to the - ever enslaved to their own greed - hyper wealthy. Floating cities will allow them a safe distance from those harbors closest to insurrection.They'll call it 'mobility', and the prize of being a 'global corporate citizen'.

Source: Alternet

What happens when Americans plunder America and leave it broken, destitute and seething mad? Where do these fabulously wealthy Americans go with their loot, if America isn't a safe, secure, or even desirable place to spend their riches? What if they lose faith in their gated communities, because those plush gated communities are surrounded by millions of pissed-off Americans stripped of their entitlements, and who now want in?

We finally have the answer, and you're not going to like it: a new fleet of castles that float in the oceans. The super-wealthy are already building their first floating castle, a billion-dollar-plus luxury liner that offers permanent multimillion-dollar housing with the best protection of all: moats made of oceans, keeping the land-based Americans they've plundered at a safe distance.

The first such floating castle has been christened the "Utopia"--the South Korean firm Samsung has been contracted to build the $1.1 billion ship, due to be launched in 2013. Already orders are coming in to buy one of the Utopia's 200 or so mansions for sale--which range in price from about $4 million for the smallest condos to over $26 million for 6,600 square-foot "estates." The largest mansion is a whopping 40,000 square feet, and sells for $160 million.

It's the first of its kind to offer permanent housing units to buyers, and there'll be plenty on board the Utopia for the global elite inhabitants to keep themselves entertained: an outdoor movie theater, casino, miniature golf course, nightclubs, restaurants, shops, and a water park for the elites' heirs (featuring a "Lazy River," rock-climbing wall and water slides). At nearly 1,000 feet, the Utopia is almost as long as a nuclear-powered Nimitz-class aircraft carrier.

Orange County Officials Sue Owners Who Removed Lawn

nospam@example.com (Harvest Dream) — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 16:42:40 -0700

Source: LA Times

Some Southern California cities fine residents for watering their lawns too much during droughts.

But in Orange, officials are locked in a legal battle with a couple accused of violating city ordinances for removing their lawn in an attempt to save water.

The dispute began two years ago, when Quan and Angelina Ha tore out the grass in their frontyard. In drought-plagued Southern California, the couple said, the lush grass had been soaking up tens of thousands of gallons of water -- and hundreds of dollars -- each year.

They said they were trying to do something good for the environment.

"We've got a newborn, so we worry about her future," said Quan Ha, an information technology manager for Kelley Blue Book.

But city officials told the Has they were violating several city laws that require residents to cover significant portions of their frontyards with live ground cover. On Tuesday, the couple is scheduled to appear in Orange County Superior Court to challenge the city's lawsuit against them.

"It's their yard, it's not overgrown with weeds, it's not an eyesore," said Cleek, whose own yard boasts fruit trees. "We should be able to have our yards look the way we want them to."

City codes require that 40% of the yard be landscaped predominantly with live plants.

"Compliance, that's all we've ever wanted," said Senior Assistant City Atty. Wayne Winthers.

Last summer, the couple tried to appease the city by building a fence around the yard and planting drought-tolerant greenery -- lavender, rosemary, horsetail and pittosporum, among others.

They sent a photo of the yard to city officials in October. But according to the city, their landscaping still did not comply with city standards.

"They put up a nice fence, but [the photo] didn't show anything about how they had complied with code, as far as the frontyard goes," Winthers said, "nor did it include a site plan."

At the end of January, the Has received a letter saying they had been charged with a misdemeanor violation and must appear in court.

"It's just funny that we pay our taxes to the city and the city is now prosecuting us with our own money," Quan Ha said. "Doesn't it waste funds to go back and forth in court, rather than sending pictures, e-mails and having phone conversations?"

Meanwhile, the couple said they had reduced their water usage from 299,221 gallons in 2007 to 58,348 gallons in 2009.

An Unwilling Messiah

nospam@example.com (Harvest Dream) — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 09:49:47 -0700

Source: New York Times

Raj Patel’s desk sits in a dusty, cement-floored nook in his garage, just beyond a parked gray Prius, near the washer and dryer. They are humble surroundings for a god.

Followers of Share International, a New Age religious sect, claim Raj Patel is the messiah Maitreya. He denies the claim, but he cannot persuade them.

“It is absurd to be put in this position, when I’m just some bloke,” Mr. Patel said.

A native of London now living on Potrero Hill in San Francisco, Mr. Patel suddenly finds himself an unlikely object of worship, proclaimed the messiah Maitreya by followers of the New Age religious sect Share International.

He was raised as a Hindu and had never heard of the group. He has no desire for deification. But he may not have a choice.

Mr. Patel’s journey from ordinary person to unwilling lord is a case of having the wrong résumé at the wrong moment in history. For this is a time when human yearning to find a magical cure for the world’s woes can be harnessed to the digital age’s instant access to a vast treasure-trove of personal information.

I have known Mr. Patel for four years — he keeps an office down the hall from mine. He is charming, and as a graduate of Oxford, Cornell University and the London School of Economics, he is considered brilliant, although he is self-effacing. He readily admits to being imperfectly human.

People began to believe otherwise on Jan. 14 in London when Benjamin Creme, the leader of Share International, who is also known as the Master, proclaimed the arrival of Maitreya. The name of the deity has Buddhist roots, but in 1972, Mr. Creme prophesied the coming Maitreya as a messiah for all faiths called the World Teacher.

Mr. Creme did not name the messiah, but he revealed clues that led his devotees to fire up their search engines on a digital scavenger hunt that would lead them to The One.

About this time Mr. Patel was publicizing his new economics book, “The Value of Nothing.” With blogging, biographies and talk show appearances, the details of his life and views permeated the Internet ether. Crowds packed his readings, his book debuted on the New York Times best-seller list, and he appeared on “The Colbert Report” on Comedy Central.

The Maitreya clues — his age (supposed to be born in 1972; Mr. Patel was), life experiences (supposed to have traveled from India to London in 1977; Mr. Patel was taken on a vacation there with his parents that year) race (supposed to be dark-skinned; Mr. Patel is Indian) and philosophies — all pointed to him. Some believe Maitreya will have a stutter. When Mr. Patel tripped over a few words when talking with Mr. Colbert, it was the final sign.

“It became a flood,” said Mr. Patel, referring to a torrent of e-mail messages that asked: “Are you The One?” He removed the contact information from his Web site, but dozens of pages, discussion groups and videos have emerged online proclaiming his holiness.

Mr. Patel has emphatically and publicly denied being Maitreya. Bad move. According to the predictions, “Maitreya will neither confirm, or will fail to confirm, he is Maitreya,” said Cher Gilmore, a spokeswoman for Share International.

Ms. Gilmore said Mr. Creme would not say if he believed Mr. Patel was the messiah.

Ben Shoucair, 24, a college student from Detroit, does not need more convincing. He said he saw Mr. Patel in a dream, and then was stunned to find a YouTube video and discover his vision was real. Last week, Mr. Shoucair and his father spent $990 on last-minute tickets to fly to San Francisco to be in Mr. Patel’s presence at a book promotion.

Reached by phone this week, Mr. Shoucair said meeting Mr. Patel had made him “happy.” He said the Maitreya evidence was irrefutable. “It puts it all on Raj Patel at this time in history.”

Mr. Shoucair seemed amazed when told that Mr. Patel did not believe he was the messiah and had never heard of Mr. Creme. “See how deep the spiritual world is,” Mr. Shoucair said.

Mr. Patel said of their pilgrimage: “It broke my heart. They’d flown all the way from Detroit.”

Safety First - A Message From Transport Canada

nospam@example.com (Harvest Dream) — Sun, 17 Jan 2010 13:04:11 -0700

Obama Musical Set To Open In Germany

nospam@example.com (Harvest Dream) — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 17:15:10 -0700

A Nobel Peace prize and a musical, for a president who has done what exactly?

Source: Yahoo News

BERLIN – A musical about Barack Obama's "Yes we can" election campaign premieres in Germany this weekend, including love songs by the president to his wife Michelle and duets with Hillary Clinton.

Even John McCain and Sarah Palin are given stage time, with actors portraying the losing Republican candidates and belting out songs on their behalf.

In all, 30 singers, actors and dancers are to perform in the musical "Hope — the Obama Musical Story" when it opens at the Jahrhunderthalle concert hall in Frankfurt in a bilingual mix of English and German. The audience may recognize that many songs quote from the politicians' stump speeches during the 2008 U.S. presidential campaign.

The venue for the premiere seems appropriate since the optimism of Obamania remains largely intact in Germany, about a year after Obama, an accomplished public speaker, became America's first black president. One campaign highlight was a July 2008 speech to some 200,000 people in the heart of Berlin about the world, the U.S. and its place in it.

On Wednesday, the "Hope" performers were still working at their kicks on a small rehearsal stage in an industrial zone of the southwestern city of Karlsruhe.

"We are rehearsing every day for 12 hours now," Jimmie Wilson, who plays Obama, said in a telephone interview. "After the opening, we have to see what the feedback is like and then we'll go on tour."

"Explosive" At California Airport Found To Be Honey

nospam@example.com (Harvest Dream) — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 13:15:40 -0700

The absurdities compound in this the age of all consuming 'terror'.

Source: Reuters

Authorities shut down a California airport on Tuesday after a suspicious amber liquid in a passenger's bag tested positive for explosives -- only to ultimately determine that the substance was honey.

Francisco Ramirez, a 31-year-old gardener who had been visiting family in the central California city of Bakersfield, was allowed to return home to Milwaukee.

"The substances in the bottles did turn out to be honey. They tested negative for all explosives and narcotics. It is nothing but honey," FBI spokesman Steve Dupre told Reuters.

The security scare came as jitters gripped the U.S. travel industry in the aftermath of an unsuccessful Christmas Day attempt to blow up a Detroit-bound commercial flight from Amsterdam using explosives smuggled on board.

Meadows Field Airport in Bakersfield, about 100 miles north of Los Angeles, was shut down and evacuated for hours and flights diverted after the incident, which began when Ramirez' bag set of an alarm in a luggage-screening machine.

U.S. Transportation and Security administration screeners turned up five bottles full of what they called a "suspicious-looking liquid." Swabs of the bag and bottles tested positive for the explosives TNT and TATP.

When the bottles were opened, two of the screeners smelled a strong chemical odor, complained of nausea and were rushed to a local hospital, where they treated and released, Kern County Sheriff's spokesman Michael Whorf said.

Kern County Sheriffs deputies, fire crews, FBI agents and members of a "joint terrorism task force" responded to the scene and spent the day questioning Ramirez before further tests showed that the liquid was (just) honey.

Related Article - A Christmas Gift for US War Plans

Deep Fried RFID

nospam@example.com (Harvest Dream) — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 22:09:23 -0700